It's smiling!Ah, what a good day it is to be alive. My first day of training at my new job. My best girl by my side, teaching me the subtle nuances of her highly important job I will be soon taking over. Nothing could go wrong today. Coffee in hand, I will just sit down to my computer and see which news item of the day will inspire, enlighten, and motivate me to greatness. I realize now this was my first mistake.
http://www.feministing.com/archives/020966.html
If you don't feel like clicking, or are apprehensive to click on anything containing the word feminist, I will fill you in. Oklahoma has passed a law allowing doctors to lie to their patients, or rather, facilitate that lie with legal protection from those crazy women who come forward with ridiculous accusations of their doctors lying to them about the health of their baby. Cuz man, I can't tell you how many times I get the burning desire to entangle myself in a bitter legal battle that strains my financial resources, magnifies the personal life and health of me and my family, and makes me susceptible to public criticism from anti-choice douchebags, you know, just for kicks. Nothing gives me the requisite shits and giggles of a given day better than draining my financial resources to be called a whore/baby-killer who would have murdered her baby had she known it was going to come out with legs as eyes and then die. Really, frivolous lawsuits are my bag, baby. It's what gets me off.
I don't even know how this is constitutional, or legal, or not cause for riot. How can a state limit the capacity of somebody to exercise their basic right to legal action when they feel they have been wronged? This isn't an abortion rights issue, this is a human rights issue. Aren't conservatives supposed to be small government, not pro-government deciding on who you can sue? (*laughs hysterically* I'm sorry, I knew that was ridiculous when I said it.) Also, who are these fucking doctors who are withholding pertinent information from their patients? Who are these legislators who are not only okay with it, but legally protecting them, and so intent on the limitation of women's freedom to prosecute these criminals that they will override the governor's veto to do so? I especially like the part in the bill that makes it necessary to give women an ultrasound before the abortion and explain to her the parts of the baby.
"Actually, yes, I have taken third grade biology...and yes. I still want the abortion. Because I was raped, and I am broke. So, really, fuck off or give me my legal medical procedure."
I have always wondered if men got pregnant yet retained their status as the decision makers of the world, as described by Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock (white men, to be exact), how abortions would really go.
"Oh, you are here for your abortion, sir! Right this way. I mean, you are a CEO of a big corporation. You can't let it get in the way of your career. And now that all abortions are governmentally funded, it's free! Here is your complementary lolipop!
I just don't understand. Maybe you need to live in Oklahoma.
(*descends soap-box*)
(*ascends soap box*)
Why are you looking at me that way? It's cold down there without my opinions to shield me!
I am sorry, I know this blog is no friend to animals. But...really PETA...really???
Mmmmmmm...elephants.
I put this in my blog for two reasons. One, my boyfriend said he doesn't like reading my blog unless there are hot chicks. (A catch, isn't he?) Two, representing my only political rift with Bill Maher, I just don't understand the majority of animal rights causes. Even if you love animals, you have to admit, people having clean drinking water is more important than the life a salamander. As I just told my best gal, I will totally be on the same page as these animal rights granola eaters, once
-AIDS/Cancer/Stupididty is cured
-Every person has access to food/drinking water/books other than the bible
-Techno music is eradicated, once and for all
-Malaria doesn't account for 50% of child deaths (for you, Lauren)
-Cholera is cured
-Ebola is cured
-Gays have equal rights
-Humans are no longer trafficked
-Women make up 50% of CEO's, congressmen(even the word is sexist), and world leaders
-Structural inequality and racism are a thing of the past
-There are more young black males in universities than in prison
-Systematic rape is a distant memory
-Everyone has a roof over their head and something to eat every single day
-Sex workers are treated like humans
-Drugs are legal
-Immigrants are respected
-I can afford to attend a circus to make my decision.
So as you can see, I have a busy week ahead of me before I give a shit about Dumbo. I am not saying it isn't wrong. But don't we have bigger fish to fry? Like salmon. Mmmmm...salmon.
If you are going to support animal rights, do something with a little more impact, not the freaking circus, and don't use it as an excuse to show off how hot you are. I would never do that for a cause...
Natural ringlets in all of their glory. And those pouty lips...
As my final insult, I am damn tired of hipsters...well I could just stop there. But I am really tired of hipsters making normal sounding names spelled differently to look cool. Or making up names altogether that should never be made up. For instance, my better half showed me her two favorites: J-A. Pronounced "Jaydasha." Too ludicrous to even comment on. Emmaleigh. I have a sister named Em-i-ly. If she ever changed it to that, I would either disown her, or compete. Marrudithe. Perfect.
(P.S. My boyfriend, Markcque, really is a catch, just really loves hot chicks.)
Did changing the font color make you more interested in my blog???
