Tuesday, May 11, 2010

R. I. P. Tyra Banks (Show). 2005-2010.





Three of my favorite boobs.


The Tyra Banks Show lived a happy, full existence on "network" (if you count the CW) television for five glorious and fruitful years. The Tyra Banks Show was a lover of contradictions, stereotypes, and mixed messages about female empowerment and beauty regimens. It leaves behind the profound mark on many young girls' self-esteem, and a legacy of pointless, tacky crap presented as fun, girl-power tips and mantras, all spouted from the lips of your average, neighborhood supermodel.  The Tyra Banks Show will be laid to rest on the CW-network where it spent most of it's later life, and viewings will be possible for the next year as a "Best of Tyra" will be aired for interested, loyal parties. Donations can be made in the Tyra Banks Show's name to Tyra Banks and her ever amassing empire, or just by the continued support of America's Next Top Model reruns, The Tyra Banks Show's closest and most personal friend.


I can't lie, I was a fan of Tyra Banks at one time. I was fascinated by America's Top Model and the modeling process it explored, and I admired her for her business savvy and ability to captivate audiences with her fun, expressive personality. She even appeared on a celebrity episode of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and was clearly the most intelligent, knowledgeable person there, even helping most contestants from the stands when they got tripped up on a question. However, our relationship in my head started to sour with the birth of the Tyra Banks show. My feelings towards her became less amicable at moments during ANTM, when her mental stability seemed tenuous-"I HAVE NEVER YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS"-and reasons for eliminating contestants became completely ratings and not talent-based, disguised by arbitrary explanations-"You've just lost...it."  ANTM eventually devolved into an unwatchable, almost cult-like worship of everything that is Tyra, with her frequently making a fool of herself for attention, parading around in costumes, and talking down to the contestants as if they were feeble minded, needy children so far from "Tyra" in all of her supermodel glory (often not far off, but still offensive).

Also I can't forgive her for the tattoo of this image in my head:


This is this picture's second appearance in one of my blogs. For that, I apologize. Brazilian wax anyone?


However, the moment I really disliked her was the first viewing of her talk show. Not only was there no hint of this intelligent person I had seen before, but there was a dangerous, hurtful message being spouted in almost every episode: "Everyone is beautiful, but this is how you do it."


See guys, I am not fat anymore!!! But I was totally cool with it when I was, I am just reiterating...


Let me unpack why I hate this message. First of all, I am sorry, but everyone is not beautiful by society's standards. Some people are not beautiful by most people's standards. And who cares? The only time it is really financially or emotionally beneficial to be beautiful in society is when your career requires it, or you love someone and you want them to be attracted to you. Sure, beautiful people get favors and come-ons now and again, but if we really think about the average person's desire to be beautiful, it is related to acceptance from the people they want to accept them. Some people (including Tyra) want the whole world to be attracted to them in order to wallow in their narcissistic pit, but once most people exit puberty the general rationale concerning beauty is how it relates to your personal sexual and romantic fulfillment. Non-societally beautiful people get hired every day, form relationships, have friends...it happens.

So why is Tyra banks focusing on beauty? I am so tired of beauty being portrayed as the main currency and indicator of self-worth on her show. The fact is, some people aren't beautiful. And that's ok. Can we get over it please? Telling someone on her show born without eyebrows (and devastated because if it) is beautiful (a real episode I saw) really isn't the point, is it? Someone so crushed about the presence of eyebrows that she can't get out of bed doesn't need to be given fake eyebrows and told she is beautiful. She needs to get to the root of why her face is her only mechanism for judging her ability and self-worth. She could draw on eyebrows and still be crushed by what she is lacking. But why?

Well, because the second part of Tyra's very mixed message is her method for becoming beautiful. It starts with telling yourself just that: I am beautiful. Done. Now how can I really make myself beautiful to everyone else? Now that I know I am beautiful, how do I show it? Well, on one episode, Tyra really drives this point home with that insufferable bitch from the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger. She tells you exactly what guys want. Hair a little past the shoulders, no more, no less.

"No girls with short hair? Let's look in our audience..."(paraphrasing)

A girl with short hair stands up.

Patti: "Well, you're gorgeous. But you really need some lip gloss."

Tyra:"Do you have some?" she nods. "Put it on right now."

That's right ladies, you cannot catch a man without the proper lip gloss. It's just that crucial, sorry. Because men aren't looking for a real connection and attraction to a vibrant, intelligent, opinionated woman...oh no. Lip gloss. As close as you can resemble Lady Gaga, the better. Makeup. That is how you snag a man. Also important, Patti continued, is letting them come to you. Never text them. Never ask for their number, give them yours. Don't talk to much on the date. Be the beautiful, mid-length coiffed, lip gloss-ready girl you can be. Cuz that is all that you can be.

Tyra is not alone though. This message is everywhere, from makeover shows to Dove's real beauty campaign. It often described with a feminist slant, "Because every girl deserves to think they're beautiful." Here is the message from Dove's website:

the Dove mission: to make more women feel beautiful every day by widening stereotypical views of beauty.

First of all,"widening" stereotypes? Howsabout no stereotypes, or not worrying about them altogether? Simply, what I am saying on this blog:

Telling everyone they're beautiful, and focusing on beauty, does absolutely nothing to weaken the stranglehold beauty has on popular culture. It only strengthens it. Why not a campaign for real compassion, intelligence, open hearts and minds? Why should we even care who is beautiful? Dove, you are not going to make me feel beautiful by trying to tell me what beauty is. It is the same oppressive force you are fighting against in a feminist disguise.

By the way Dove, I know this is not news to lots of people, but do you think we could "widen" that stereotype to include the women you are telling to lighten their skin in India? The owner of Dove and their real beauty campaign, Unilever, is responsible for this ad.

Yeah. Fair and lovely.